No matter how much I’d want to embrace diversity, mobility and cultural dialogue, I’m still uncomfortable living far away from home, being deprived of the food, the living habits, even the atmosphere of the city – everything that gives meaning to my life, because that’s what culture is about, giving meaning – or at least the illusion of it – to our meaningless, mundane existence. However, it’s not a nationalist sentiment. I don’t feel any affinity with my compatriots. I only maintain connection with people of my primary group, basically composed of family members and high school friends. These are people with whom I share the same culture, but not only. And there are also French people whose values and vision I share, but there’s still a barrier between us. So I guess culture is not just a territorial or ethnic affair. It’s also group culture, i.e. people from the same professional category or doing the same major at college. But then the nature of the relationships would be different too. You can feel affinity with some people on a certain subjects; it doesn’t make them your friends. Maybe the culture of a person is like a dish, made up from different sources of culture. So when the dish lacks an ingredient because of geographic context, it can’t deliver the harmony of its tastes. It becomes those “immigrant food” or “ethnic food” – inauthentic derives of the original dishes of a culture. Like those broccoli and noodles served in Asian restaurants here.
I guess I just have attachment issue and I’m totally not a 21st century adventurous youngster, those urban nomads or whatever. Meanwhile half of me still live up to social norms, with quality such as internationally-mindedness and curiosity and cross-cultural sensitivity. Even though I doubt the sincerity of these terms, frequently used in institutional PR materials and textbooks, and find that they mean nothing on a personal level, I know I will still put them on my CV and cover letters in the long journey of getting a proper education (and eventually job) in the first world.
As a young expat, I never feel like I belong to anywhere. It’s not a question of culture shock. I don’t fit in here because I’m a foreigner, but I don’t either back home, in “my culture”. I think as long as there are borders everywhere, I can’t find my place and my life will be perpetual escaping and running away.
Culture means community, shared values, heritage, and the sense of belonging. Culture defines what is identity and what is alterity. Therefore culture means borders, because it includes Us and excludes the Other. My utopia is a world without borders.